A GUIDE TO PROPER CONDUCT

In my second blog posting (Street Guide: Tips for the Newly Homeless), I mentioned most (not all) of the various services available to the homeless in Livermore. Through out my postings, I have itemized bad behaviour. Last night someone asked me, so what is proper behaviour as when you're homeless?

The answer is: the same behaviour everyone takes for granted as good behaviour.

But what a lot of homeless people lack is an education in what is and is not proper behaviour, I was told. I should have known this, of course. It's in my face daily. People out here very often do not know how to act, how to be responsible, non-threatening and generally good neighbours to those around them who may or may not be homeless.

So, the Guidelines:

APPEARANCE and HYGIENE

Rule 1: SHOWER! Brush your teeth, keep your hair neat and wear cloths that are as clean as you can. There are plenty of services available to help you do this. Nobody wants to smell you. If you wear dirty clothing, it will smell.

Rule 2: Do NOT dress like a gangster. DO NOT LOOK THREATENING! Wear a belt. Get one from one of the clothing lockers. “Pants on the ground” types are threatening to most people. If you appear to be a threat, you will be treated like a threat.

Rule 3: Get a haircut whenever you can. Guys, I'm sorry but wearing your hair long when you're homeless is not cool. You get showers three times a week and every last one of you who wears your hair long can't seem to control it. It's a mess. It looks unclean.

INTERACTING WITH OTHERS

Rule 4: TRUST NO ONE. I cannot say this enough. When you give away your trust, you've given away everything. Learn who you're dealing with before you give that person your trust. Learning who can and cannot be trusted is of vital importance when you are homeless. It could save your life quite literally. I know of many who have suffered greatly (including being raped) for having given away their trust to someone they did not know.

Rule 5: RESPECT Everyone. Show courtesy to everyone you meet, homeless or not. You do not know anyone's story when you first meet them. Give that person the space they deserve and respect their boundaries as you get to know them.

Rule 6: SMILE! Be friendly. Nothing disarms the person you just saw for the first time more easily than a smile. Of course, be careful, because those you should never trust very likely know this as well. But there is never any harm in being friendly.

Rule 7: BE Appreciative when someone offers help. No matter if the offer is good or not. Make sure you thank the folks at Open Heart Kitchen when they give you food. Make sure, when someone offers you any form of help, even help you cannot use, thank them.

Rule 8: Accepting Help: You have no right to help from anyone. Know this first and foremost. When someone offers you help, however, DO accept it if you can. If someone offers help to you, and it is something you cannot use, try to think of someone who can use their help and suggest it to that person. An offer of help is very often an attempt by the person making the offer to connect with you. You should not take that connection for granted, or decide that you suddenly have any rights to that person's help, but connecting with non-homeless people is usually a good thing to do. That said, please refer to Rule 4.

ACTING HOMELESS

Rule 7: DO NOT SIT ON THE CURB WITH A SIGN! Everyone has seen them: “Will Work for Food” or Need Help”. There's plenty of help and food out there. Flying a sign is about one thing: GREED. Nobody in Livermore has any excuse to be practising this. Let it be the “Out of Towners” who come in and do it. (In my opinion the Livermore PD should discourage this disgusting activity, but that's me... those of you who do this are beneath contempt) And Drivers, stop throwing money at people with signs... you're just making more of them.

Rule 8: CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF! Don't leave a mess! In an area you sleep in, don't leave evidence you were there. If it is a camp site (which I do not recommend) keep the area clean and tidy. You do not own the property you are occupying and you have no right at all to be there. Being messy not only makes you a target for authorities (Police, etc) but it also makes life difficult for other homeless people in the area. Being Messy and saying “I don't bother anyone” is patently false, MESSY PEOPLE BOTHER EVERYONE!

Rule 9: RESPECT THE RULES! The Homeless frequent several places in Livermore. Several of the Churches, the Public Library, Safeway, Walmart... each and every one of these places has rules of conduct. The Livermore Public Library has the Library Rules on their website, for instance. It is your responsibility to know the rules of conduct of any place you find yourself and act accordingly.

Rule 10: MANAGE YOUR STUFF: Sure, you have to keep your stuff safe! Anyone who has ever been homeless and most who work with the homeless understand this (though, surprisingly, not all of those do). So many of you are forced to carry all your things with you. Always remember that LESS IS MORE. The less you have, the better off you are. Try not to accumulate too many things. When you arrive, for instance, at the Library with all your gear in tow, don't go in, open up all your bags and start organizing your stuff inside! It goes to “don't make a mess”. If you are with someone you trust, try and take turns watching each other's things. Remember, you are taking up more space than people normally take up, and even more if you're toting a lot of stuff. Leaving your stuff alone in, say, a public building, is a good way to get people upset with you. I have all my things attached to my bicycle. I highly recommend this.

BEDDING DOWN AND CAMPING

Rule 11: DO NOT Be Conspicuous. If you must use a tent, Keep it out of site. Do not have a conspicuous camp site. If you have a camp site that can be found easily, that means the Police can find it, and so can other homeless people. Other homeless people can be very, very dangerous. The police will just tell you to move.

Rule 12: Sleep Alone or with Partners you KNOW you can trust. Don't sleep in the same area someone you do not know sleeps. This could very well get you hurt. At the very least, having other homeless people around you when you are sleeping will make you more conspicuous.

Rule 13: DO NOT Tell anyone where you sleep. Random people will ask you where you sleep. You tell that person “I don't share that.” And you must not. This is a very big safety issue. I do not ever encourage lying to the Police, but, I do not share this information with police officers either unless I know I can trust them (and there are a few on the LPD I know I can trust, and they do know where I sleep).

MOBILITY is RECOMMENDED. If at all possible, be mobile. Don't leave evidence of where you sleep when you pack your stuff away. This is the single best way to keep your sleeping arrangements secret and safe. (I try never to sleep in the same place three nights in a row).

Rule 14: When You Are Asked To Leave: LEAVE! Don't argue. The Police will ask you to leave an area. Property owners, if you're squatting on private property, will ask you to leave. Be courteous and do so without any argument. Apologize to the property owner and gather your things as quickly as possible.

POLICE

Rule 15: NEVER, EVER Argue with a Police Officer!!! Do not do it! If you have a problem with that police officer's conduct, get that police officer's badge number and report the conduct. If you treat the police with courtesy and respect for their authority, you are more likely to be shown courtesy and respect in return. If a police officer feels at all threatened by you, that officer MAY cuff you! Accept it, at least for the moment. Remember the details of the encounter, and seek help to file a complaint if a complaint is warranted. The best thing you can possibly do with regard to the police is to make sure they understand you have no intention of being a problem. Those that are willing to know you should be encouraged to do so. A good police officer who is your friend is a very, very valuable friend to have.

Rule 16: REPORT CRIME! If you see a crime in progress, and you have a cell phone, call it in! The Livermore Police Dispatch Number is: 925 371 4987

Rule 17: Being Homeless is NOT PRISON! Prison rules do NOT apply on the streets. If someone calls you a “snitch” for calling someone out or calling the police, never associate or trust that person again. That person is dangerous to you. People who apply prison rules to the streets are very likely committing crimes and potentially are abusing other homeless people. Don't get on their list of victims.

DRUGS and ALCOHOL

Rule 18: If you have a problem with either drugs or alcohol, get help! NOW! Not tomorrow, not next week, NOW! If more than one person tells you that you have a drug or alcohol problem, GET HELP NOW!

Following these rules is not just about you. It's about the homeless in general. It's about not being a problem for those around you, homeless or not, and it's about your own self respect. The less you look and act the part of being homeless, the fewer problems you'll have, and the safer you will be.