Protection from Emotional Pollutants: Be Aware of Debbie Downers and Master Complainers

The attitudes and beliefs we share with others can have a great impact on how they feel and the level of connectedness we create.

There are many things that happen throughout the day that we cannot control .  From the actions and behaviors of others, to seemingly unwarranted traffic, life delivers several uncontrollable scenarios which can lead to feelings of frustration, anger or helplessness.   The evidence is plentiful that could support a negative, critical or skeptical view of some of life’s circumstances.  That being said, the tendency to indulge in negative thinking and complaining comments can have monstrous effects on our moods, self esteem and yes, even our relationships.  This post focuses less on ways to combat complaining, criticizing or making excuses (that will come at a later time) and will instead highlight the impact of such behaviors on our relationships.

As the Holiday Season rapidly approaches, numerous parties and celebrations will be held.  These celebrations allow opportunities for shared laughter and good times, but can also be a haven for the looming Master Complainer.  What is a Master Complainer?  These are personalities who constantly have negative things to say.  They may often appear overly critical, judgmental and can zap the energy out of a room full of people.  Master Complainers focus on creating bonds with others by connecting around misery, scarcity and fear.  If you have ever seen the skit Debbie Downer on SNL, you know exactly the type of personality I am referring to (link below).  It’s easy to slip into this mode, it often requires little forethought and unfortunately the impact can be of great consequence.   Master Complainers typically push others away and create discomfort for those around them.  Although their unconscious goal may be to actually connect and bond with others, they end up creating the exact opposite effect because of their negative and helpless attitude. 

A classic example of a Master Complainer is when you have an exciting opportunity on your hands and as you share your joy, you are met with restricted excitement and a conversation focused on all that could go wrong or worse yet a horror story of when something similar was offered and turned out terribly for that other person.  TOTAL DOWNER!

Since we cannot always control every aspect of life or the attitudes and behaviors of others, it is crucially important to take advantage of the areas and aspects of our lives that we can control.  We have the ability to select who surround ourselves with and the energy that we put out into the world.  We can remove ourselves from the company of Master Complainers and even more so, we can remain vigilant of not allowing ourselves to indulge in these behaviors.  We can do our best to position ourselves towards success and make small decisions everyday that contribute to good health, positive moods and supportive relationships with those around us.   By taking a hopeful and positive approach to life, we are better able to successfully manage the struggles and difficulties that may arise.  If we allow ourselves to become polluted with criticism and negativity, we not only rob ourselves of enjoying the wonders of life, but we also dampen the experiences of others. 

Debbie Downer SNL : http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/debbie-downer/32806/

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James Young October 30, 2012 at 09:57 PM
Love this! We are all responsible for the company we keep.
Californicated1 October 31, 2012 at 12:15 AM
It's election time. A little difficult right now right now to avoid all the "downers" and the "uppers" around there, unless you want to turn off all your electronic gadgets that receive anything other than electrons from the outside world, stay at home and not go out, even to get groceries or get mail. Add to that the change in seasons and that we are still in this goofy daylight saving time scheme, where the sun's position is telling one that it is 4:00pm right now but the clocks are telling one it's an hour ahead. These are nutty times and even without this election jibber-jabber, they are still nutty given how the days are getting shorter and the nights longer and colder this time of year. About the only thing that could be worse here is getting summoned to appear for Jury Duty on top of all of this nonsense.
Rich Buckley October 31, 2012 at 03:01 PM
Kelly, right on! One of the oldest staples in my psychic daily diet has been the uplifting spiritual energies of "Sight Psalms" They seem to have a genius in taking the dominant negative and washing it clean with a natural image. Take this morning's image, the perfect medicine to heal my spirit from the contrived science and media negatives inflicted on us 24/7 through Hurricane Sandy: http://sruach.tumblr.com/post/34690612144/inspiration-so-comes-to-us-at-times-from-the
Cindy Dobyns November 10, 2012 at 06:04 AM
So true Kel!!! Every thought or word has power and energy either negative or positive! The choice is ours !


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