Getting Schooled in Traffic Court

Seriously, who gets a ticket in a private parking lot at midnight when no one is around?

OK, maybe just me.

Here’s the thing. I seriously thought traffic signs on private property were more suggestions than actual enforced vehicle regulations.  Ignorance, you may have heard, is no excuse and it sure didn’t save me from getting ticketed at midnight at the Dublin theater parking lot. 

I know this isn’t Livermore, but bear with me on this because I know a lot of Livermore people have seen that “Right Turn Only” sign coming out of the driveway near Mimi’s and Macaroni Grill – noticed no traffic coming – and just opted to turn left.

Otherwise, it takes like an entire five more minutes to go right, make a U-turn at the little intersection and then go back toward the freeway to get home.

The reason why I was there at the time of night usually reserved for sleeping or catching up on my reading was to snag tickets for the 2:45 showing of the “Harry Potter” finale.

The midnight showing had already begun and there was not a living creature in that parking lot save a lone Dublin police officer. And she promptly flashed her lights at me and issued a ticket.

An infraction, really.   

At that point, there might have been a bit of pleading on my part and slight eye misting. She said just to go to court and the fine would be reduced.

Good to know.

She said if the officer doesn't show up in court, then the ticket is dismissed. She might be on vacation when my court date was scheduled.

Even better to know.

As the deadline loomed to either pay or fight, I toyed with the idea of just paying it. How much could it be?

Reality hit with the letter from the court stating this little lapse would cost me a whopping $234 bucks.

The courtesy notice also informed me if I wanted to attend traffic school so it didn’t go on my record, that would be an addition $54 – not counting the fee to go to traffic school. Most people know that if you just show up, you can at least reduce your fine and if luck is on your side, you might even get a judge to dismiss it.

If I opted for my day in court, the only options were going to the Pleasanton court on a Monday, Tuesday and Friday and only the first 75 folks in line would be seen.

Justice? That's no stinkin' justice. Everyone deserves their day in court even if it's just to get a reduced fine.

Again, let’s face it. I did the crime, but it was like paying full price for clothes when you know you can get it on sale.

So I figured getting there at about 7 a.m. when the doors didn’t open until 8 a.m. would be a safe bet.

Barely squeaked in. And I got there at 6:45 a.m. for a No. 60 slot.

A trio of Livermore boys sitting behind me in the courtroom apparently have been around this block a few times. They made nonstop commentary on everything from the Livermore police officer that cited one, and had cited another in the past (“She looks too hot to be a cop, but she’s mean, dude.”) to dissing the overdressed  (“First timers. No one dresses up.”)

You can take their advice if you want, but I feel business casual is always appropriate. And I wanted to tell that to the woman who wore sagging pants and a red thong, and received no mercy from the judge.

When called before the judge, I started telling my tale, which seemed ridiculous even to me. Then I said,  “I’m sure this is too much information for you.”

“No, no,” he encouraged. “I love hearing a good story.”

He schooled me on the fact that you can, indeed, get a ticket on private property. He enlightened me on the fact that most tickets are written around midnight. He patiently told me that even though it seems silly to adhere to a sign clearly meant for high traffic times, you can get a ticket for ignoring it. 

I decided not to mention my indignation that when we left the Harry Potter movie early that next morning, there were so many people turning left at that sign that Dublin could have cured its entire budget crisis. Snarky doesn't play well in court.

Instead I played my final card telling him I knew the ticket would be dismissed if I plead not guilty and went to court. No way the cop would show up especially since budget cuts meant everyone going the not guilty route had to be scheduled for a court date in Fremont.

Heck, when I found out you couldn't even get your case heard in Pleasanton I almost asked just to get a slightly reduced fine and call it a day. But I rolled the dice, and came up a winner.

“I’ll dismiss it. Just make sure you don’t turn left again there, OK?” he admonished, opting not to further clog the court system.

“Promise,” I vowed.

Yep, don’t do the crime if you can’t pay the fine, travel to Fremont or at least spend your morning in Pleasanton traffic court.